Active or Passive.
Since returning to work, I've felt pulled between actively jumping into situations or sitting back passively and letting waves crash where they may. How much is too active? How much is not active enough? What is the right balance? What if I get too invested and the cancer just comes back? What if I waste my life away because of my fears?
Although in remission, doubts and questions have become my new companions. The "AHA" didn't hit until this last Saturday. My hubby handed me his tablet and said, "Read."
I found the following article about a nine year old boy named Jacob Thompson who was diagnosed with cancer at the age of four and is now facing his last days at 9. All he wants is to experience Christmas one more time.
Something in me actively awoke. I didn't think twice about it. I planned to set up a Christmas table the following day, sharing Jacob's story with middle schoolers. The result was inspiring and astounding.
It was 7:05 when student M walked in and asked, "Ms, what are you doing?"
After she heard the details and saw the article I had photo copied, something within her awoke as well. "Can I help?" were her next three words. She stood beside me, recruiting others, giving up her nutrition and lunch to increase awareness. She shared of her heart!
By the end of the day on Monday, we had collected over a hundred cards, letters, and pictures that our middle schoolers felt compelled to create. At lunch, they sat about talking about Jacob. They taught me that struggling between active engagement and passivity will achieve little on this planet. Indecision often ends in a lack of action.
Regardless of my fears, I jumped into the heart of the storm, I embraced the raging emotions that quicken my pulse when coping with any thought of cancer. I stood back to witness tomorrow's generation share their empathy and love. Throughout the day other students sought me out to tell me about their "uncle" or "aunt," to ask me questions about cancer that they were dealing with. I answered them, grateful that I could help them heal as they were helping me do so!
I cried yesterday evening, happy tears, joyful tears, for although bad things happen to good people, none of us walk this path alone. We are surrounded by endless love as long as we open ourselves up to it. Who knew that it took a dose of innocence to reaffirm the necessity to live an active and hopeful life!
Since returning to work, I've felt pulled between actively jumping into situations or sitting back passively and letting waves crash where they may. How much is too active? How much is not active enough? What is the right balance? What if I get too invested and the cancer just comes back? What if I waste my life away because of my fears?
Although in remission, doubts and questions have become my new companions. The "AHA" didn't hit until this last Saturday. My hubby handed me his tablet and said, "Read."
I found the following article about a nine year old boy named Jacob Thompson who was diagnosed with cancer at the age of four and is now facing his last days at 9. All he wants is to experience Christmas one more time.
Something in me actively awoke. I didn't think twice about it. I planned to set up a Christmas table the following day, sharing Jacob's story with middle schoolers. The result was inspiring and astounding.
It was 7:05 when student M walked in and asked, "Ms, what are you doing?"
After she heard the details and saw the article I had photo copied, something within her awoke as well. "Can I help?" were her next three words. She stood beside me, recruiting others, giving up her nutrition and lunch to increase awareness. She shared of her heart!By the end of the day on Monday, we had collected over a hundred cards, letters, and pictures that our middle schoolers felt compelled to create. At lunch, they sat about talking about Jacob. They taught me that struggling between active engagement and passivity will achieve little on this planet. Indecision often ends in a lack of action.
Regardless of my fears, I jumped into the heart of the storm, I embraced the raging emotions that quicken my pulse when coping with any thought of cancer. I stood back to witness tomorrow's generation share their empathy and love. Throughout the day other students sought me out to tell me about their "uncle" or "aunt," to ask me questions about cancer that they were dealing with. I answered them, grateful that I could help them heal as they were helping me do so!I cried yesterday evening, happy tears, joyful tears, for although bad things happen to good people, none of us walk this path alone. We are surrounded by endless love as long as we open ourselves up to it. Who knew that it took a dose of innocence to reaffirm the necessity to live an active and hopeful life!
* * * * *
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Till next week, go live, thrive, have fun and do great things!
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