Thriving Past Cancer: Marine's Journey

 Greetings my dear friends and followers! I know it's been a while since my last post. At the time I thought that living entailed never looking back, but here I am at the brink of a three year remission, needing to look back.  So much to tell- but I think changing it up is essential. Instead of writing, I will be creating VLOGs.  I'm done hiding my true self, hoping Chucky wont come back if I'm quiet, meek and docile. Watching Mulan during my first chemo-treatment (today), or shall I say 9th treatment since the beginning taught me that "There is no Courage Without Fear!"  Henceforth, you can get your Daily Dose by subscribing via you-tube. To check it out click on the following blue link:  Daily Dose of Marine 

Watching the opening ceremony of the 2018 Olympic s, some truths struck me: Unity and Community is all any of us can contribute to our existence and in so doing make this life a better place. What do I mean by that? I’m so glad that you too had that question. If you haven’t met me yet, I’m pretty intense. One random thought can consume me until I unknot it. So here I am, on a Sunday morning at 5 a.m., unknotting truth. I realized when watching the ceremony that my entire life has been lived in Hollywood, CA doing just this, seeking truth in unity and community. My first vivid experience arose during the first ten years of my life, living on the streets with my fellow brethren, my best friend (we’ll call him T) and I brought together all the children of the community to our apartment building. There was an empty corner that shielded us from the weather. We set up a makeshift classroom there. We sat them down and spent endless hours with them. I taught them and helped them...

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) is one of the after effects of cancer. There are no ands or ifs about it. According to the Anxiety and Depression Association (AADA) of America, PTSD is apparent when individuals “re-experience trauma through intrusive distressing recollections of an event, flashbacks, and nightmares.” I’m now four months out of my last chemo session and I still feel the effects of distress whenever anybody talks about cancer or the death of a mother, or the lonesome life a child will live after losing his/her parent. In last week’s blog I described how my middle school students wrote letters to the little nine-year-old boy named Jacob, who is dying of cancer. What I didn’t tell you is that I did not sleep much that week. I awoke with tremors every night, barely able to breath. But awareness of a malady and action to resolve the effects are two distinctly different beasts. So, I started researching. I wanted to know what the indicators of PTSD were so that I c...

We all have a back story.  It's why we say what we say and do what we do.  It's the foundation on which our lives are constructed. Some of the foundation is constructed on sand, others on mud, and yet others on the rockiest of terrain. When we invite a person into our lives, we rarely reveal the foundation. We never delve into our pasts and our conversations hover somewhere around weather, movies, and other trivial topics.  I'm quite good at this, and this is what hit me when I sat in church this last Sunday, listening to the pastor talk about people's "back stories" and how they impact every single moment of our lives, behaviors, and actions.  Although I've shared my "back story" with the world, cancer's ravaging effects cripple me, almost as if there's termites trying to gnaw at the timber house that stands upon it. It leads me to doubt myself, my thoughts, actions, and decisions. As many of you know, I went back to work a couple ...

I am happy to say that I celebrated my 40th birthday two days ago.  I awaited it eagerly and when I awoke that morning, I exclaimed, "I made it! I made it to 40!" I never thought it would mean as much as it did, but it does, just as each morning is a celebration of life and a blessed celebration all its own. I don't know what to expect anymore. Each day is different and sometimes, the most magical of things come to pass without any warning. Had a day like this recently and I was reminded by it the night of my birthday when CJ (the individual I talk about below) texted me to wish me a Happy Birthday. I was taken aback by that text for reasons that are too long to explain here. But what I would like to explain today is how CJ entered my life two weeks ago. One of my best friends, an animation editor who works in Burbank, CA, asked me recently if I'd be willing to help a friend of his with a grant. Why did he reach out to me with this request? Well, for starters, h...

Last week I couldn't help but research what it was I'd ingested for six months. It was the third week after my last chemo session and although my mind knew it was all over and that I didn't have to go in this last Monday for another chemo infusion, a pattern is a pattern.  Emotionally, I couldn't shake the fear that what I had called a norm for the last six months was not in fact "the norm." I wanted to go hiking with my eldest and swimming with my youngest and the fact that I couldn't meet either of their or my wants was crippling. My eyes were like overflowing wells and my soul trembled like a leaf. The stress was crippling.   So how did I pull myself together? I let it wash over me.  I cried in church this last Sunday as we discussed stress and the people, places, and practices that help us deal with its onslaught. I couldn't tell you why I cried, but I did. Fear of "it" returning? Fear that the end wasn't the end? Fear that I...