The Game of Life

If you ask any kid what he/she wants to be, they all claim they want stardom. They want to become famous you-tubers or gamers, fame being the underlying constant. I dare you to examine your own desires. What makes you happy? Praise? A bonus on your paycheck? Recognition? A bigger house? A nicer car? 

 

Most of us grew up playing The Game of Life and what we aspired to achieve on that board game has engrained itself upon our souls as truth. Somehow, we’ve become brainwashed into thinking we need and want more.  

I don’t know about you, but I have an inner drive that reminds me of a wind-up toy. There were times in my life that I felt the urge for more and went for it. Two masters-degrees later, a home, a husband, a great job, and two kids to boot, I’ve realized that I’ve been playing the adult version of “LIFE.” 

Cancer helped me pause the game. It helped me sit back and reevaluate the rush towards the end. Why are we headed there with blindfolds on? Why aren’t we enjoying the ride as opposed to trying to get to the destination? 

Here’s a bit of truth from one that’s come back from death’s door- when you near the end, wanting “more” doesn’t consist of a bigger house or faster car. It consists of a day, an experience, a smile, a hug…. 

Today, I want to share my love with others and have fun while doing so. That is my highest aspiration for any given day. I say it when I wake up, and I think it when I go to sleep. I pray on it and ask the universe and God to provide me with opportunities to be present in the lives of others so that I can fulfill my wants.

This week the universe unfolded before me. I sat and broke bread with families staying at the LA Ronald McDonald House this last Thursday evening. I listened to mothers and fathers who would give up all of their monetary possessions for their ailing babes. I held a grandma as she cried over the fact that her seven-month-old grandchild needed two more open heart surgeries to even come close to seeing a healthy tomorrow. I listened and affirmed pain. I shared of my past and together we made sense of the present. 

We forget how fleeting life can be. We let ourselves be swept down the river of life, like a leaf, carried from one extreme current to another until we hit a rock. Only then do we stand firm and reevaluate life. Why must this be the case? Why can’t we listen and pause before we are damaged? 

An awareness of the extremes is the first step. 

Selecting wisely is the second. 

No longer do I allow moments to sweep me into the chaos. No longer do I allow my inner drive to rule me. I pause and listen in the silence for what fuels my soul and brings the most people happiness. I travel forward willingly and embrace moments with my own peace of mind. 

Let me pause and backtrack to the Monday before breaking bread at the Ronald McDonald House. In one day-three individuals reached out, three people I’d been communicating with during their own challenges. I hadn’t heard from any of them since my last blog and the fact that all three texted or approached me within hours of each other rattled me. It made me pause and evaluate the moment. 

The first individual told me that these blogs brought light into her darkness and provided her with the inspiration she needed to fight her battles. I’m grateful our paths crossed that day for I was considering ceasing these blogs-not sure whether it was doing anybody any good. I have since reconsidered for even one reader who finds value in it is sufficient to continue the writing.

The second individual reached out to tell me about his most recent test results. I met him through a friend and exchanged numerous texts while he was going through chemotherapy. He reached out to state that all his most recent test results came back clean! He had overcome his diagnosis like a pro. My heart beamed with happiness for him.

The third left me in tears. His niece had just passed away of cancer. The hole in his heart was bottomless. 

By eight pm Monday night, I knew I had to pause, breath, clear my mind, and ask God, “Why today? What does this all mean? What more can I do that I have not yet done? How else can I be present in their lives?” 

Did he answer? Not necessarily. That’s not quite how life works. Patience, time, and space clarify all things. I carried this question around with me through Tuesday and Wednesday and when Thursday came around I trusted that my questions would find answers that evening. 

I was one of 18 individuals who filled the Ronald McDonald House. 

At first, I stood back, taking it all in, feeling the somber mood of the families. Then, as if on cue, I remembered my Monday experiences and I realized that the one constant was me, that somehow God had answered my prayers and provided me with the opportunities to share of my light and love. I urged our team to grab food and join the families. Every table was filled. We sat with them, we talked, and we listened. 

So, when the distraught grandma asked me, “How do you know my grandchild will be alright?” 

All I could say was, “I don’t. All I know is that miracles happen every day because I’m a living miracle and if the love of others was enough to help me see my own light, maybe our love today will help you see yours!” 

Tears streamed down her face. “What can I do for him?” she asked. 

“You must believe,” I said. “You must believe that he’s in good hands, that he can make it. That God has plans for him. You must believe he will be alright so that you can smile and sing to him, so you can fill that room with love because at the end of the day that’s the only thing any of us can do.” 

“And will he live if I do that?” 

I remembered my third text from Monday night. I remembered my friend’s pain and his sorrow at losing his niece. I took a shaky breath and said, “That I do not know, nobody knows. But what I do know is that the love and light that you carry into that room can either brighten it or dim it and that you must control your light for as long as you need to.” 

I’m two days out from one of the greatest experiences of my life and I’ve come to realize that nothing happens coincidentally. Monday was a miracle all in itself, meant to remind me of our interconnectedness, to help me realize who I am and why the sharing of light is so important.  

So, I urge you today. I know that we can all find ourselves in really busy seasons. I ask you to press the pause button. Reduce the cortisol streaming through your body and adding undue stress to your lives. Breathe, walk, take a long hot shower, and ask yourself what is most important to you? Then, be present in every moment. The universe will unfold before you and call out to you. You will see a need and it will be up to you to walk alongside somebody else who needs a bit of light. Be present in their lives because that is the only way we will achieve stardom, by impacting each other, and leaving behind an ember in each other’s souls.  

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Till next time, go live, thrive, have fun, and do great things!