I was seventeen when my niece, Sarin Wakimian, was born.
I was transitioning between teenhood and adulthood, preparing myself for endless college possibilities, planning my perfect future, questioning life, because obviously that's something we humans love doing: would I travel the world and become a famous reporter, write novels in a cabin off of Walden Pond, or treat patients in a psych ward somewhere? I dreamt, as all children do. And I dreamt big.
Sarin penetrated my dreams.
She drew me out of my teenage egocentricism and brought into my world a freshness I had yet to experience. I held her, played with her, and loved her intensely. Two years into my college revelry, Sarin began exhibiting physical ailments that impacted her life. Inflammation hindered her ability to walk and instead of toddling and running around she began to withdraw into her own hell. A frown replaced her smile as her reality shifted. She slowly lost her mobility and just when children are preparing for pre-school she was preparing for doctor's examinations. One after another, she went from one facility to the next being scanned, probed, and diagnosed. The Children's Hospital of Los Angeles opened their doors to her and tried to help her as much as they could. She explored both eastern and western medicine. She tried to regain normalcy by changing her diet and by exercising her muscles in spite of the pain. Anything that could be done medically, was.
I watched from the sidelines, powerless, infuriated, wanting for the first time nothing more than to ease her pain and show her that she could achieve anything if she put her mind to it. Unfortunately, science has never been my forte.
Years elapsed. Sarin's condition worsened. Her pain intensified. Diagnosed with severe childhood arthritis she began taking endless pills to endure her pain. Her wheelchair became an extension of her body and she struggled with her purpose in life! She moved from Los Angeles to Fresno during this time, but she did not disappear out of our lives.
My hubby and I made Fresno a regular stop. We did not stop for the intense agricultural climate or the scent of manure wafting through the valley, we stopped for her. We stopped to water her soul and show her how truly special she was. We stopped because we believed that regardless of her worldly limitations, she contained boundless abilities.
This last weekend she proved just this! She graduated from Fresno State, with a degree in Political Science and a passion to change the world. Over thirty family members and friends made the trek to Fresno to stand witness to endless possibliites. So often we let the negativity dictate our lives. We shy away from taking risks, from believing we can. Sarin symbolizes the opposite. For all those out there doubting themselves, take a minute to pause today and ask yourself the following questions: "What if I can? What then?"
For Sarin, this was the questions that led her to reaching further than the norm. She believed with all her might that she could, and she did. Today, she wants to give back, to work with kids who feel hopelessness, who are stuck in the negative zone and need a little bit of love and watering themselves.
I had a few minutes to talk to her amidst the hubbub of Saturday night's excitement. I asked her, "What now?"
Her dream job, according to Sarin, would be to work for the Children's Hospital, UNICEF, Make a Wish Foundation, or even the Ronald McDonald House. "I know what those kids are going through," she said Saturday evening, "and I can help. I can help them see that they can do anything they put their minds to."
There are moments in life when we can't help but pause. We pause because internally we know that something magnificent is happening. We can't wrap our hands around it, we don't truly comprehend it, but we sense it as one does the pangs of hunger. This weekend was such an event. My boys, who love Sarin as much as I do, said, "Wow, mom. If Sarin could do this, nobody has a right to complain about anything!"
Little did they know that Sarin is one of the major reasons my mindset changed last year. In the middle of my hell, she showed up. She made her parents drive her to my house, on her birthday of all days and she sat across from me and said, "What's wrong with you, auntie? Who cares what the doctor's said! Cancer's got nothing on you. You are going to overcome this, this is nothing!"
She broke me, this little beauty of ours!
She changed me with her determination and her conviction. She penetrated through my darkness and lit a candle in my soul, a glimmer of hope! I didn't tell her during our conversation Saturday night that she's already living her dream job, she's leaning into other's lives and inspiring them to believe in endless possibilities. However, I truly hope that the universe aligns and somebody out there is able to see her power and welcome her into their ranks for she has a great deal more to offer this world!
As for the rest of us, I think it's important to pause during these mystifyingly magical moments to take in the power of our own minds and the impact we have on each other. We can doubt and question ourselves until we are riddled with fear, but we shouldn't. Instead, we must identify our fears.
Write them up,
and then,
Tear them up!
They belong in the trashcan.
We on the other hand must ask ourselves, "What if _________________ works out? What then?" Believing that it will work out will help us see our challenges as tiny cracks along the path. And one steps over cracks without a second thought! So, stop hesitating and embrace life, like Sarin has! Step over your crack and see what happens then!
I was transitioning between teenhood and adulthood, preparing myself for endless college possibilities, planning my perfect future, questioning life, because obviously that's something we humans love doing: would I travel the world and become a famous reporter, write novels in a cabin off of Walden Pond, or treat patients in a psych ward somewhere? I dreamt, as all children do. And I dreamt big.
Sarin penetrated my dreams.
She drew me out of my teenage egocentricism and brought into my world a freshness I had yet to experience. I held her, played with her, and loved her intensely. Two years into my college revelry, Sarin began exhibiting physical ailments that impacted her life. Inflammation hindered her ability to walk and instead of toddling and running around she began to withdraw into her own hell. A frown replaced her smile as her reality shifted. She slowly lost her mobility and just when children are preparing for pre-school she was preparing for doctor's examinations. One after another, she went from one facility to the next being scanned, probed, and diagnosed. The Children's Hospital of Los Angeles opened their doors to her and tried to help her as much as they could. She explored both eastern and western medicine. She tried to regain normalcy by changing her diet and by exercising her muscles in spite of the pain. Anything that could be done medically, was.
I watched from the sidelines, powerless, infuriated, wanting for the first time nothing more than to ease her pain and show her that she could achieve anything if she put her mind to it. Unfortunately, science has never been my forte.
Years elapsed. Sarin's condition worsened. Her pain intensified. Diagnosed with severe childhood arthritis she began taking endless pills to endure her pain. Her wheelchair became an extension of her body and she struggled with her purpose in life! She moved from Los Angeles to Fresno during this time, but she did not disappear out of our lives.My hubby and I made Fresno a regular stop. We did not stop for the intense agricultural climate or the scent of manure wafting through the valley, we stopped for her. We stopped to water her soul and show her how truly special she was. We stopped because we believed that regardless of her worldly limitations, she contained boundless abilities.
This last weekend she proved just this! She graduated from Fresno State, with a degree in Political Science and a passion to change the world. Over thirty family members and friends made the trek to Fresno to stand witness to endless possibliites. So often we let the negativity dictate our lives. We shy away from taking risks, from believing we can. Sarin symbolizes the opposite. For all those out there doubting themselves, take a minute to pause today and ask yourself the following questions: "What if I can? What then?"For Sarin, this was the questions that led her to reaching further than the norm. She believed with all her might that she could, and she did. Today, she wants to give back, to work with kids who feel hopelessness, who are stuck in the negative zone and need a little bit of love and watering themselves.
I had a few minutes to talk to her amidst the hubbub of Saturday night's excitement. I asked her, "What now?"
Her dream job, according to Sarin, would be to work for the Children's Hospital, UNICEF, Make a Wish Foundation, or even the Ronald McDonald House. "I know what those kids are going through," she said Saturday evening, "and I can help. I can help them see that they can do anything they put their minds to."
There are moments in life when we can't help but pause. We pause because internally we know that something magnificent is happening. We can't wrap our hands around it, we don't truly comprehend it, but we sense it as one does the pangs of hunger. This weekend was such an event. My boys, who love Sarin as much as I do, said, "Wow, mom. If Sarin could do this, nobody has a right to complain about anything!"Little did they know that Sarin is one of the major reasons my mindset changed last year. In the middle of my hell, she showed up. She made her parents drive her to my house, on her birthday of all days and she sat across from me and said, "What's wrong with you, auntie? Who cares what the doctor's said! Cancer's got nothing on you. You are going to overcome this, this is nothing!"
She broke me, this little beauty of ours!
She changed me with her determination and her conviction. She penetrated through my darkness and lit a candle in my soul, a glimmer of hope! I didn't tell her during our conversation Saturday night that she's already living her dream job, she's leaning into other's lives and inspiring them to believe in endless possibilities. However, I truly hope that the universe aligns and somebody out there is able to see her power and welcome her into their ranks for she has a great deal more to offer this world!
As for the rest of us, I think it's important to pause during these mystifyingly magical moments to take in the power of our own minds and the impact we have on each other. We can doubt and question ourselves until we are riddled with fear, but we shouldn't. Instead, we must identify our fears.
Write them up,
and then,
Tear them up!
They belong in the trashcan.
We on the other hand must ask ourselves, "What if _________________ works out? What then?" Believing that it will work out will help us see our challenges as tiny cracks along the path. And one steps over cracks without a second thought! So, stop hesitating and embrace life, like Sarin has! Step over your crack and see what happens then!
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