I have a vivid memory of walking through Barnes and Noble almost twenty years ago, arm in arm with one of my dearest friends. (Let's call her SBN for short)
"What would your heaven look like?" She asked then.
I grinned and replied,"This book store, the scent, reading endlessly, and living each character's adventure with them."
This memory came to mind on Tuesday as this same friend and I found ourselves in Barnes and Noble, no less. We went from book to book, flipping it open to random pages and finding passages that spoke to our hearts. She found a poem about a Cancer-Warrior and exclaimed, "Look, this is you!" We spoke of life and death, Billy Joel and Tom Potty, our children, and God.
A few times we had to pause and breathe as tears filled our eyes. We must have been quite a sight. We shared numerous embraces yesterday, grateful to be alive. I filled her in on my progress as I look ahead to returning to work next week supposedly a "healed" warrior.
"The doctor's (my oncologist and my surgeon) both sent me off two weeks ago to spend the next two weeks rediscovering life. They told me to either start acupuncture or yoga, so I picked the one that causes less pain and the difference in my own pain level and stamina is astounding. They also said that I'm healed, but heck it wasn't until last weekend when I realized what that word even meant."
She listened, as she always does with an open heart and mind.
He smiled, "I've realized that waiting isn't an option, living is! 'Live Life with Love' and maybe, just maybe you'll feel like yourself again."
"What would your heaven look like?" She asked then.
I grinned and replied,"This book store, the scent, reading endlessly, and living each character's adventure with them."This memory came to mind on Tuesday as this same friend and I found ourselves in Barnes and Noble, no less. We went from book to book, flipping it open to random pages and finding passages that spoke to our hearts. She found a poem about a Cancer-Warrior and exclaimed, "Look, this is you!" We spoke of life and death, Billy Joel and Tom Potty, our children, and God.
A few times we had to pause and breathe as tears filled our eyes. We must have been quite a sight. We shared numerous embraces yesterday, grateful to be alive. I filled her in on my progress as I look ahead to returning to work next week supposedly a "healed" warrior.
"The doctor's (my oncologist and my surgeon) both sent me off two weeks ago to spend the next two weeks rediscovering life. They told me to either start acupuncture or yoga, so I picked the one that causes less pain and the difference in my own pain level and stamina is astounding. They also said that I'm healed, but heck it wasn't until last weekend when I realized what that word even meant."
She listened, as she always does with an open heart and mind.
* * * * *
I time traveled as I always do soaring from present to past and back again...
The weekend when Vegas shattered was the weekend I learned how to live. It was coincidental and accidental. It was a weekend planned six months prior with tickets to watch the Imagine Dragons (one of our favorite bands), theater tickets to see Red Shoes at the Ahmanson, and an afternoon of socialization with other parents. It forced me to step out of the darkness and reclaim all of the activities that I took pleasure in before.
It accompanied a conversation with my hubby that put it all into motion-
"We can't wait anymore," he had said the morning of September 11th. "We can't wait to retire to enjoy what is in front of us today."
I listened for my hubby doesn't often make prophetic life changing decisions or statements.
"You have wanted to go to the theater regularly since I met you. Buy season passes, just do it!"
I nodded and asked, "Like you bought Imagine Dragon tickets?"
He smiled, "I've realized that waiting isn't an option, living is! 'Live Life with Love' and maybe, just maybe you'll feel like yourself again."
So I did. Thirty minutes before reporting to the hospital for my last operation (hopefully), I purchased season tickets to the Ahmanson. I confirmed for Ely's class picnic, and thus last weekend came to be.
And Sunday night as I lay my head down to sleep I realized that none of us truly knows when our time is going to be up. All we have is the current moment to love and share our love, to enjoy each other's company, and to just be."
* * * * *
So back to Barnes and Noble and exploring it with one of my SBN....
"I love you," I whispered as we strolled through the store.
She grinned, hugged me and returned the statement.
What I should have said was: "I'm not sure I would have made it this far without you! You are like a light house and I the ship. Without you, I would not have been able to make my way back home."
So I beseech you- don't wait to live. Write a list of three things you enjoy doing, that makes you feel lighter inside and schedule them for this month. Set the time aside in your calendar and don't cancel those slots regardless of what may come up. Take that time to shower yourself with love and to help you love life!
* * * * *
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Till next week, go live, thrive, have fun and do great things!
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