Thriving Past Cancer: Marine's Journey

Wonder-woman, a female heroine, strong, confident, determined. I'd been enamored with her since the 1980s when I'd perch next to my dad and watch old reruns of Lynda Carter raise her pumped fists and watch bullets ricochet off of her cuffs. "I want to be her," I'd announced as I jumped off of the couch and ran around the house fighting injustice. Sure enough the very next day, my MacGyver of a father created cuffs that I could put on. I've felt like Wonder-woman all my life, the hero-complex setting in early, until recently.  This path Ive been walking has me quivering in the darkness like a kid reacts when there is thunder and lighting outdoors. What I hadn't realized was, that I had to relearn how to stand tall and "fight like a woman." Recently, my brother called me and asked, "Can you write a piece about the night before the storm?" "What?" I asked. "You know, the night before you go in for an infusion? What...

Every conversation I've had since December has been tainted by the beast lurking inside. It's attempted to define me, claim my identity, weaken my resolve, and control my movements. That is, until last Wednesday. The context: My youngest son's end-of-the school class party. The setting: A fellow parent's house. My hubby was going to take him. I was going to meet a friend for lunch and a hearty conversation about the Mists of Avalon. However our plans changed literally 15 minutes before we were going to pick up our son and when that happens, I always embrace the change. Hubby beseeched me to join him and when I agreed I think a slight hop entered his gait. We were the first one's there, but I had to work myself up to going inside and coax down the beast. I literally envisioned it and spoke to it in my mind's eye: You will not control me! You will not shape any conversations I hold inside that house for today we are two different entities.  Today, I nee...

Juicing has become trendy in recent years and it tastes really good. Some people juice to lose weight, detox, de-stress, while others juice because of differing nutritional benefits. I've been juicing on and off my entire life.  At fifteen, my mother created a concoction that was filled with beta-carotenes, falcarinol, vitamin-A, minerals, and antioxidants. All these ingredients she found in one vegetable- the carrot. Vitamin A is supposed to improve eye health and my mother wanted to reverse the fact that I needed corrective lenses. She woke up at six am daily to create a carrot concoction that would do just this. Most days she'd juice carrots and apples and kept this up throughout my high school years. Just for good measure, she also packed me a zip-lock filled to the brim with carrots to munch on during the day.   You're probably wondering: Did it work?   The response to that question is complicated.  Firstly, ophthalmologists hated me. They coul...

We all go through highs and lows, it's a part of life.  Battling cancer seems to have amplified my highs and lows.   Or, maybe I've just become heightened to every moment and experience. A few weeks ago, I experienced the extremist of both within an hour period.  I was asked to share my journey with a group of pre-med seniors before their graduation from high school. I whole heartedly complied.  I got to the school fifteen minutes before eight. But my intention was to visit an old friend before anything else. He'd been working as a librarian at the school for the last couple of years, but before then we had both been on a Dream Team which I still look back upon with the deepest of regrets (a moment I wish I could have changed if I had the ability to time travel). "I'm so sorry," I said to him, "If I could, I would rewind time, I wouldn't have run away! I..." "There were circumstances you hadn't told us that wouldn't have le...