Last week I couldn't help but research what it was I'd ingested for six months. It was the third week after my last chemo session and although my mind knew it was all over and that I didn't have to go in this last Monday for another chemo infusion, a pattern is a pattern.
Emotionally, I couldn't shake the fear that what I had called a norm for the last six months was not in fact "the norm." I wanted to go hiking with my eldest and swimming with my youngest and the fact that I couldn't meet either of their or my wants was crippling. My eyes were like overflowing wells and my soul trembled like a leaf. The stress was crippling.
So how did I pull myself together? I let it wash over me. I cried in church this last Sunday as we discussed stress and the people, places, and practices that help us deal with its onslaught. I couldn't tell you why I cried, but I did. Fear of "it" returning? Fear that the end wasn't the end? Fear that I'd poisoned my body so intensely that my nervous system would never recover? Then, I lost myself in the company of my dearest friends and family. We gathered and shared bread together, talking about life and all its mysteries. We laughed, danced, and remembered all the moments of joy we'd shared.
It was during this time when my sister-in-law point blank told me that she hated my last blog, that I shouldn't be dwelling in the negative, that I needed to surround myself with positivity and live! I heard her, but I didn't know how to comply, or what to do.
On returning home Sunday night I sat in the darkness, I breathed, I prayed. I re-centered myself and I picked up the book, "It Feels Good to Feel Good." I lost myself in reading and writing, to arm myself with the knowledge necessary to battle the lingering symptoms. During this time, I dwelled in the memory of a conversation I had with Health Coach and author of "It Feels Good to Feel Good," Cheryl Meyer.
I'd been introduced to Cheryl digitally a month before our actual meeting, at which point she had sent me a copy of her book to read. During this time, I was still undergoing chemo treatments, and she was sharing her knowledge before cancer patients that were attempting to reduce their pain and live a healthier life.
I was a bit nervous about meeting her in person, even though her e-mails were genuinely inspiring and kind beyond description.
I felt embarrassed about my recently adopted diet, about explaining to another individual what it was I had chosen to consume and was feeling insecure about explaining why. How was I to order a vegan, gluten free meal without judgement?
Fortunately, Cheryl was as particular about the food she put in her mouth as I was. She actually carries a small card around with all the foods she's allergic too and shares it with the chef who is preparing her meal when entering a restaurant. Sometimes, she'll even call ahead to discuss her diet and the food options offered at said restaurant. Her confidence was inspiring.
After we negotiated with the woman taking our orders and made sure that our meals were aligned to our individual dietary expectations, we picked a table and dove into a most amazing conversation. We spoke of life, our families, our challenges, and our futures.
We spent two hours talking about the toxins in one's body and how to reverse the inflammation that causes so many of the crummy side-effects and symptoms that impact our lives.We spoke about the human body, the gut, inflammation, and toxins. We shared freely of our hearts and discussed homeopathic approaches that Cheryl has highlighted in her book to deal with the environmental, social, and edible toxins we ingest.
Reading her book is like talking to her in person, minus the food. She never comes off condescending for she too has walked a path of pain and has pieced together a plan that works for her. Most importantly, this is the key to her approach. She believes in the power of people and urges them to get involved in their own healing!
I was able to sleep Sunday night without succumbing to the fears. And I awoke Monday refueled. I continued to write and read. I forced myself to walk two miles (a first in 3 weeks due to the intense heat wave hitting Los Angeles), and then as I sat outside to visit with my hummingbird and blue jay I saw a package in my yard. I opened it to find the sweetest certificate I'd ever seen.
Cheryl had bequeathed me with the tile of "Hippolyta's Daughter." The title would have been enough considering she'd become one of the "people" I could turn to when consumed with confusion, but with it, she sent forth Wonder Woman's wrist bracelet. "You don't have to wear it," she wrote in a touching letter. "But draw strength from it when the darkness threatens and know that you are filled with strength and confidence."
All I can say in return is that she got it right, it definitely "Feels Good to Feel Good," and doing so will be an adventure all it's own for this path we walk isn't straight and flat but riddled with hills and rocks that we must step over using the tools we have (the people, places, and practices) to stand. re-center ourselves, and overcome life's challenges.
*Thank you Cheryl for your endless love of people! You are a gem.
* Thank you Dave for knowing what wisdom is needed when.
If you would like more information on Cheryl Meyer, pleas click this highlighted link.
For more information about South Hills Burbank Church and Pastor Dave's awesome sermons, click on the name of the church.
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Till next week, go live, thrive, have fun and do great things!
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